Welcome to our second issue of Imago World where we take a look at connections within our community, and to the world outside.

The AIRT Board wrote the first of three contributions to mark the recent decision to close the Association of Imago Relationship Therapists. We express our hopes for connecting all of engaged in Imago work through this one organization.

We also look at connecting Imago communities around the world. Hedy and Yumi talk of the amazing Imago work they see as they travel the world, and we feature an insight into our growing Imago community in Austria.

Our cofounders, Harville and Helen share their vision to connecting the Imago work with other communities, starting with religious groups. As more people get some personal experience of Imago, we expect it to also encourage some to seek out workshops and private counseling.

February will be the launch of Tango magazine, and new magazine about relationships, where many people will learn about Imago through our advertisement.

Tim Atkinson
Executive Director

Dear Fellow Imagoeans:

The past three years have been a time of adjustment, change and now transition. The AIRT Board has worked very hard to honor our members desire to maintain a viable professional organization while also establishing a collaborative relationship with IRI. One of our goals has been to demonstrate that in our Imago community we could have “organizational differentiation”. Just as partners can be separate, equal, bonded and able to work together toward common goals and objectives, so could our two organizations – AIRT and IRI. Our commitment to that concept motivated the AIRT Board to initiate a series of meetings over the past two years with members of the IRI Board. We sought to find ways that both AIRT and IRI could collaborate and work together to better serve the needs of Imago therapists worldwide. This, in our view, was a tremendous task. AIRT was attempting to stay afloat while IRI was trying to establish itself as a new Imago international organization.

In 2003 and 2004 we invited team of representatives from the IRI Board to meet with a team of representatives from the AIRT Board to explore collaboration possibilities. The 2003 discussions, while respectful, did not produce the kinds of outcomes that we would have desired for the mutual benefit of both organizations. The 2004 discussions were in place while the AIRT Board was addressing and responding to the realities of our organization.

The charge from our membership was to strengthen AIRT. We worked hard to follow through by providing a membership needs assessment, having open Board meetings, posting minutes on our website, planning the October 2003 Asilomar conference, publishing newsletters, organizing teleclasses, providing peer supervision groups and hosting a weekend retreat with Pat Love in October, 2004.

We honored the decision of our AIRT membership at Asilomar in 2003 not to hold a conference in 2004. We agreed instead to support one conference in June hosted by IRI in Toronto. Our desire was to respect the wishes of the broader Imago therapist community for one conference. Our goal was to have one joint conference with IRI, however we were unable to create thhe necessary mutually satisfactory arrangements.

We were still faced with a steady decline in finances and membership which began in 2001. AIRT members continued to communicate to us that they wanted a professional organization, one conference, and one set of membership dues. Despite our best efforts, this was not to be. By September 2004, we were clear that it was necessary to recommend to our membership to dissolve the organization effective December 31, 2004.

While AIRT may be closing its doors, we believe it is important to note that a significant number of IRI members, who were also members of AIRT, have wanted and supported our Imago professional organization for a number of years. It has been important to them that (1) they have a vote in electing those persons who represented them on the Board of Directors, (2) that they had an advocate to protect them when proposed suggested practices might put in jeopardy their professional licenses, and (3) that they would have a voice in determining the content of our annual Imago conference. And while AIRT may be dissolving, we believe that these needs remain in our community and we encourage IRI, for the benefit of Imago therapists, to provide the vehicles required to address these needs.

As members of the board of AIRT, we were handed an organization with a host of problems prior to the split vote that resulted in the defeat of the merger. We have worked hard in a mutually cooperative, respectful and harmonious manner to keep the organization viable until our two organizations could find a better way to work together for the benefit of our entire community. Our attempts have not always been understood, supported, or accepted, however, that is the nature of evolution and transformation.

The Board is extremely grateful for the assistance of our current and former AIRT Executive Directors, Joyce Gibb and Pat Pelton. As we say farewell to AIRT, we do express our sincere best wishes to IRI and to each certified imago therapist, workshop presenter, clinical instructor, master trainer, and the new Executive Director of IRI. We extend our appreciation to our founders, Harville and Helen for developing the imago relationship model and to your commitment to support the work of imago therapists around the globe.

On a personal note, we want to acknowledge the leadership of former AIRT Board members, therapists from different cities who have hosted AIRT conferences and all those who have contributed unselfishly to AIRT over the years. What we treasure most over the past two years is having the opportunity to get to know and to serve our membership and the imago community. We have learned a great deal from so many and want to thank you for your faith and confidence in electing us as your AIRT Board.

Sincerely,  
Melva Thomas Johnson, President
Jesse Johnson, President-Elect
Waverly Farrell, Secretary
Michael Nygren, Treasurer
Robert MacIntyre, Member-at-Large
Mary DeVries. Member-at-large
Mary Butler, Member-at-Large

Hedy and Yumi

I was asked to add to this newsletter some of my thoughts about our history as a community. It seems important to recognize and acknowledge our past, so we can appreciate and rejoice in our future.

The closing of our professional organization, AIRT, ends a very significant chapter in Imago land. AIRT meant such a great deal to me that I served on the board for 9 years. Many people worked countless hours to establish an organization whose mission was to support Imago practitioners with continuing education and fellowship via a yearly conference, a monthly newsletter, a wide array of teleclasses, and various other means. AIRT very successfully brought a diverse group of individuals into a boisterous, committed, focused, sometimes contentious, gang of zealots out to change the world, one couple at a time. AIRT was our base, our core, our beginning, and our launching pad. I know how painful it is for me and for many others to acknowledge the demise of AIRT. It makes total sense to me that each of us finds our own way to say goodbye and grieve the end of this valiant organization, in order to clear an internal space where “Hello to IRI!” can reside in a genuine and enthusiastic way.

As we move into this new chapter, a fear felt and voiced by many is, “With AIRT gone, who is going to look after my interests?” Clearly one of the challenges IRI has is to find ways to incorporate the very BEST of what AIRT represented; the connection, the collegiality, the enthusiasm, and the advocacy for the therapists who ARE the community. I believe this will happen as we remember that IRI is a co-creation of all of us, and that each of us is 100% responsible for its safety and health. Among other things this means each and every one of us must commit and endeavor to speaking and acting with consciousness, remaining open and curious, using Dialogue to communicate, honoring differing points of view, holding sacred the spaces between us, and giving feedback directly to the person it is intended for, and in a positive manner. I know, I know, this all sounds pretty lofty for mere mortals!! Well, I think we can meet this challenge, because I bet we all can take the first baby step of lining up a POSITIVE INTENTION, and from that safety and right activity will follow.

I believe this work attracts people who want the world to be a better place and are willing to work very hard to contribute to that happening. I think we are an amazingly dedicated, caring, committed group of human beings! Our hearts all want to see the world become more honoring of difference, a place where people feel equal and empowered; yet we were all raised in a “better-than/less-than” society, a “there are those who KNOW and those who don’t” educational system, and because of these and other influences, sometimes we couldn’t practice what we preached. Because of our collective backgrounds, sometimes we traversed the waters of our relationships with one another imperfectly. Sometimes when threatened or scared, instead of connecting as we learned to do using Imago processes, we acted in ways that produced disconnection. I know I often was (and sometimes still am!) reactive instead of curious and mirroring, and this lack of consciousness caused rupture. Even though our behavior was not always the best, I invite you to consider that every one of us in every interaction was doing the best we could in that moment, and if we could have risen to a higher Self, we would have. As I say to the couples in the workshop, “there are no mean or bad people here, just scared people doing the best they can without a very clear roadmap”.

As John Kerry eloquently says, NOW is the time for reconciliation and forgiveness. We must build our new organization TOGETHER! This is the only way it will be a strong and vibrant light for our desolate world.

Our new director Tim Atkinson and his wife Helen are complete delights. . It is reassuring to have someone at our helm that not only understands all aspects of running a business, from marketing and goal setting to budgets, but also, and as importantly, understands what we mean when we talk about “connection”. My experience of Tim and Helen is that they are both very connected to each other, and also very open to being connected to us. I also experience them as empowered and clear, but also available to input. They modeled true differentiation at our meeting together, and I believe anyone who can flow as they did with our faculty and not be driven crazy by us, is worth their weight in gold!

I believe Tim has the heart and the skills to lead us into becoming a truly international organization capable of holding all that we have to offer and honoring all of our different points of view. I urge you, no matter how worn out and tired and cynical you might be to put your wonderful energy into this new adventure. We all need each other. There is not an “us” and a “them”; there is just a WE, a collection of loving committed therapists trying to heal the planet by creating connection between couples, between parents and children, between individuals, and finally, between countries.

As this year ends, I want to tell you how grateful I am for the presence of the Imago community in Barbara’s and my life. So much good has happened to us in the past 15 years, and this community has been a consistently wonderful support and holder of our family and us. I am grateful everyday to have Imago friends the world over. When we took our road trip last fall, we were welcomed into countless Imago homes, homes that without exception were filled with love, compassion, and deep connection. In that spirit of deep connection, I wish for everyone a peaceful and blessed holiday season.

Maya and Barbara

For the last two years, we have been in the process of designing an Imago education curriculum for churches. The purpose of the course is to expand awareness of Imago to populations that may not be reached through our regular therapeutic and workshop channels and invite those interested into Imago therapy or to couples workshops. We wanted to reach the 40 million couples who attend church each week and introduce them to Imago. In our view, this would not only be a “taste of Imago” for couples, but a tremendous referral resource for Imago therapists and workshop presenters.

The course is called Couplehood as a Spiritual Path. It is, in fact, two courses. One consists of 6-8 two hour sessions that must be taught by Imago therapists to couples in churches. The other is a 4 session course that can be taught by couples who have completed the longer course or attended a couples’ workshop to other couples in their homes. This course can also be used as a follow up guide for couples who attend the longer course. We anticipate this as a grass roots movement that should reach thousands of couples. Imago therapists who have taught the course can become mentors to the couples who teach the shorter course.

The longer course is now in pilot phase and the shorter course is being developed. All responses from the pilots have been enthusiastic. If you wish to pilot the longer course, you can order manuals from the website. After developing a business plan, with Tim Atkinson’s help, we will launch it at a two day training session, June 27-28, at the Smart Marriage conference in Dallas, Texas. All Imago therapists are qualified and encouraged to teach the course, and if you wish to view it first hand, you are invited to attend the conference. We invite every Imago therapist to join us in this new expansion of Imago to a larger public.

Harville and Helen

Since 1997, when Hedy and Yumi Schleifer presented Imago in our beautiful country for the first time very much has been done. Started by a small group of dedicated therapists and their partners, we founded the Austrian Imago Society. Out of this small nucleus we developed a living community. We are deeply convinced that Imago can only grow out of people who live Imago themselves. So we had to go through different power struggles not only within our partnerships but also within our young community.

But it was worth to do. In spite of low financial means we are now presenting Imago very professionally on our website www.imagoaustria.at , we have attractive Imago folders and our newspaper “Imago Spiegel” (Imago mirror). If you want you can download the mirror from our website. In October 2004 we successfully organized the 3rd European Imago Congress in Vienna, and we are also presenting Imago at different congresses of other therapeutic schools.

Now we are about 40 Imago therapists and 10 workshop presenters have already completed their training. 2005 they will start a strong wave of seminars for Austrian couples. Our next strategic objective has to be autonomy, because we urgently need German speaking Clinical Instructors. Hedy Schleifer did a great job and Maya Kollman will be our Master trainer in 2006, but we need instructors that are available all the year.

This year we also want to arrange several events to keep our Imago community together. We will take care of Intervision furthermore and we will support several colleagues to complete their certification in order to maintain a high level of professionalism.

We feel the need for a worldwide unity and therefore we strive to establish stronger connections to our European and American Imago colleagues. We set a first step at last years congress in Vienna and we are in dialogue with IRI in order to create cooperation that satisfy the needs of both sides. I want to thank everybody who participates in this dialogue whether personally or by mail for open speaking, careful listening and understanding, both common interests and differences, specially between Europe and America.

Have a happy and successful year 2005!

Dr. Maximilian Schallauer
Chairman Imago Austria

I first learned about Imago from a headhunter. Like most candidates for a job, I did an internet search. But I was surprised when I found two organizations, the one I was being invited to join called Imago Relationships International (IRI) and a second called the Association for Imago Relational Therapists (AIRT). I wondered why?

I wondered if when I became Executive Director I could find a way to bring these two groups, IRI and AIRT together, and build an organization that combined the best of both. But soon after joining Imago, AIRT took the decision to close.

My friends at the Psychotherapy Networker magazine sent me a copy of a 1997 issue, which featured Imago. In the article the writer, Marian Sandmaier asks “Will Imago survive its growing pains?” The article talked about passionate showdowns at a conference, of publicly expressed distrust, and a conscious split.

I feel that there is tremendous power in this moment, which gives us an opportunity to prove that we will survive our growing pains. This is a time that we can prove as a community that we listen and respect everyone’s voice, and find a common path which serves us all.

In the last few months a team of AIRT and IRI people worked together to build a list of members needs. They came up with a list of 22 items, and they are included in this edition of Imago World. We also have a message in this issue from the AIRT board, reminding us of three things that the AIRT community feel are important; an elected board, advocacy and input into the conference. It underlines how important it is for the community of Imago therapists to have an effective voice, to be heard, and to see a response.

When I look at the list of 22 needs, my heart says “yes – that’s great, let’s do that all now.” Then my head takes over and I think “It’s a lot to do – where do I start?” I can see it will take a while until I can go down the list and against each item show you how effectively we are meeting this need. But we’re starting right now!

AIRT had a phrase they used to capture the mission of their organization, and I used it as the title of this article. “Holding the Heart, Spirit and History of Imago.” I’m glad to learn that so many who founded and led AIRT are now strong contributing members of IRI. It’s exciting to be able to work with them to make sure that this heart, spirit and history are fully contained within the work we will do together.

Tim Atkinson

A list of needs developed by a joint AIRT/ IRI meeting

1. Need for certification and continued recertification;  use of Imago intellectual property; Workshop Presenters Update and Clinical Update

2. Need for opportunities to do local trainings with faculty

3. Need for peer supervision

4. CEUs

5. Opportunities to hear non-Imago theorists

6. Need for collegiality - locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally

7. Need for advocacy (access to and support for recourse around different issues including certification, training, policies)

8. Need for a journal, a newsletter, web access for information, as well as interactive communications

9. Need for membership services ? (needs to be elaborated on)

10. Desire for access to discounts on products, insurance plans, group rates, etc.

11. Need for trainings, conferences,etc. to be affordable and accessible

12. Need for costs for whatever organizations will be, to be low (dues)

13. Workshop Presenters' need for reasonable costs, efficient access to manuals and other supplies, as well as a need for coordination and a voice

14. Need for marketing help, both for clients, workshop couples, and for non-Imago therapists to be trained

15. Need for coordination between local, regional, national, and international bodies

16. Need for ownership of these organizations, be they regional, national, or international. That is, elected representation at all levels, not just to be heard, but to have influence in policies, programs, finances, etc.

17. Particular need for an American voice, that is, so that such a large and important number of therapists are not forgotten or minimized.

18. Need for a "Professional Association" to serve the needs of certified therapists, as opposed to all levels of members and affiliates

19.  Need for an American or North American Conference that includes Updates, workshops, options for other speakers, opportunites for meetings, collegiality, well beyond the scope of a "regional" conference

20. Need for avenues of input to develop Imago theory and practice, to build creatively.

21.  Need for educational opportunites around practice management and marketing and development

22. Need for leadership to "walk the talk", that is, to use the applicable dialogue/communologue processes in a respectful way in their work, to ensure that all voices are heard and validated.